S2S2D Blog Hop!

Today, I'm honoured to be hosting the Shoulder To Shoulder To Day (#S2S2D) Blog Hop for Emma Day at Crazy With Twins. Mine is only a teeny blog, but I'm delighted that it has led me to a group of people willing to stand together with someone who needs a wee boost. When Emma was first diagnosed with thyroid cancer, then found out she needed to be isolated, unable to touch, let along cuddle her husband and three kids, Vic at VerilyVictoriaVocalises, and FireflyPhil decided that we needed to do something. we needed to make Emma smile!
We were all delighted by the news that Emma managed to kick her treatment's arse just as firmly as she is going to kick cancer's arse. But the decision was taken to carry on with the Blog Hop. And the brief remains the same. Emma's still going through a very worrying and exhausting time. So let's make her smile!
I'd love for you all to link up a wee post below (this is my first ever Linky, so sorry if there are any teething problems!). Anything goes, as long as it's cheery!
So, to kick things off, I thought I'd share what makes me smile. My girls.
Emma and I have a few things in common, not least that we are both mums to twins plus one. We both know how hard it can be to have three young kids on your hands. And we both know that no one will ever ever make you laugh as much as they do.
My girls are comedians, and have been from day one, so below are a selection of my favourite shots of my absolute favourite people.
Get well soon Emma! x

These little angels were the answer to my prayers

They soon grew cheeky...

... and always had a smile!

G was a classic beauty

While T was full of cheeky charm

They had some odd habits...

... could always strike a pose...

... and were known to run riot!

They always had each other

Then suddenly, they had a new playmate!

But Mummy's little bundle of joy...

Soon turned just a cheeky as her sisters!

And she always had entertainers on hand!

In short, these girls are my lovable, hilarious life!

Silent Sunday

Parenting under the influence

This week I got drunk. I went out with actual adults and drank actual alcohol. I never do that any more. Turns out there's a very good reason for that. Oh God, the hangover... I wanted to curl up in a ball and sob. Only I can't. I'm a mum-of-three. Mercifully, it was Sunday, so my husband was there to take up the slack. Having attempted to get up and help them get dressed, but been unable to actually hold myself upright without vomiting, I pleaded for mercy and retreated back to bed. I needed a day off.

 I love this little lot... but a day off would be nice

A day off. I haven't had one of those for three-and-a-half years. Before kids, if you are ill or exhausted or have the hangover from hell, you can pull the duvet back over your head and plan nothing more for the day than a heroic trip to the loo or, if you're feeling really ambitious, the kettle. But as I curled back round the sick basin, the guilt pounded in my already-pounding head. Mine is not the kind of job that comes with sick days and holidays and tea breaks. It's an 24-hour, seven-days-a-week kind of deal. 

I've got up and cared for my girls through vomiting bugs from which I was also suffering, I've survived on barely any sleep, but still made it to the playpark, and through four months of morning sickness, I provided two toddlers with three meals a day, every mouthful of which made me want to throw up.

But finally, after three-and-a-half years, I was beaten. I don't know whether it was my age (possibly), the fact I hardly ever drink now (probably) or the beer that seemed a really good idea after an evening of wine, wine and more wine (most definitely), but I felt awful. Skin-tearingly, soul-devastatingly awful. I could barely move without vomiting, and just wanted to sleep forever. It hadn't helped that little M had decided not only to have a disturbed night, but also to reject her father and demand only her wreck of a mummy sit up with her half the night. Unable to sleep off my excesses, they hit me fall-force the following day. 

But I never take time off. I've had a few days out, and get some regular time to myself every Tuesday with the twins and nursery and M with my mum. But I still get them dressed, I still get them breakfast and find their shoes and make sure everyone has their bag. I still get back in time to cook their tea and bath them and kiss them goodnight. I've had only one night away from my girls in their life, and that was unintended when a flight back from a funeral got cancelled. I'm a full-time mum. Literally.

But I couldn't do it. I had to go back to sleep. So I swallowed the guilt (then threw it back up again. Probably) and shut away my world. Until lunchtime. Even dying didn't get me a whole day off. By 2pm, I was up and dressed, and taking the girls round to see their granny, who went all maternal herself, and nursed me with tea and toast. I guess you never take time off from being a mum. I know as the girls get older, they'll start making their own breakfast, taking their own baths, going out with their own friends, and I'll get more time off. I'll be less vital. I may even take more time for myself. I'll be about to go out with friends, relax and have a glass of wine... Not that I'm ever drinking again... Where's that basin...

Photos copyright SS Kelman (http://pkperspective.co.uk/)     

Silent Sunday

Silent Sunday

Cast away

I've always loved Radio 4. Loved it. Runs in the family. I was practically weaned on it. I was listening to Desert Island Discs the other day (I say listening, it was more 'struggling to hear over the incessant questions and fights and accidents...) and automatically started trying to choose the eight songs I'd take with me if I were cast astray. Turns out it's not as easy as it seems. I'd caveat these choices with the note that there were a lot of discs that only just missed the cut, and if you asked me to write this list again next year, or even next week, it'd probably be different, but nonetheless, here they are, my Desert Island Discs...

1) The Boxer by Simon and Garfunkel. Like Radio 4, I was weaned on Simon and Garfunkel. My mum was a massive fan, and I probably first heard this song in the womb. It will forever remind me of the long drive up to see my grandparents in Nairn, singing harmonies (admittedly not that harmoniously) with mum and my sisters.

2) Can't Take My Eyes Off You by Andy Williams. This was the first dance at my wedding, largely because my then-fiancé, loved singing his own lyrics along to the chorus... 'I love you, Aaaaaaa-mmmmy, da da da daa daa da da da, Aaaaaaa-my, blah blah blah'. Will always and forever make me smile, even if I can't ever remember the real words.

3) Don't Stop Me Now by Queen. This became the theme song of the first magazine I ever worked on in London. We were a new launch, all thrown in together, working (and playing) hard to make it a success. It was, by the way, and we had a lot of fun doing it!

4) Graceland by Paul Simon. Quite simply, the best song from the best album ever written.

5) Mr Brightside by The Killers. Impossible not the dance to, and I plan on dancing a lot on my little island with no one there to tell me to stop.

6) Cello Suite No. 1 by JS Bach. The greatest piece of music ever composed. On my island, I'd be so far from home, but this music has the power to lift me up to the skies. Soul-movingly beautiful.

7) Horny by Mousse T. OK, so perhaps a leap from Bach, but this song recalls Kavos in 98. Me, my best mate, sun, sand, ouzo, oh so much ouzo... and the best girls' holiday ever. And, you know, I'm going to be cast away without my husband. A woman has needs...

8) Twinkle Twinkle Little Star by my daughters (and Mozart). Bit of a cheat here, but if someone is banishing me across the sea, I can at least demand that they record my babies all singing together. They all love to sing and dance, and no other recording could ever capture that for me. To me, their crazy, shouty version is the best!

Book. So, Radio 4 give you the Bible, and the Complete Works of Shakespeare, which would keep me pretty busy, but this is a tough one. Although I don't get nearly enough time to do it these days, I love to read. But is it wise to take a trusted classic I'd read again and again, like Pride and Prejudice or East of Eden, or risk something new that I will keep me busy on the long, lonely days? I've agonised over this one, but in the end, I've decided that if I don't find time to read on my island, I never will, so I'd take a book I just never seem to get round to getting into, but know I'll love. Les Misèrables by Victor Hugo.

Luxury item. I always imagined that this would be a bed. I love sleeping. A firm mattress, clean, fresh sheets, snuggling down after a hard day's fishing or swimming or generally pottering around my island... Bliss. But motherhood has changed me. Although my girls are in my head forever and always, I'd like a photograph album full of them, my husband, my family and my friends. If I can't have them in person, I'll need the memories.

And finally, if a storm swept my new home, and I could only rescue on precious disc, which would I grab from the waves. This is almost impossible. A world where I never hear Paul Simon's voice again seems wrong, and the lose my girls singing would be heart-breaking. But in the end, I know I wouldn't need a record to hear them. They are always in my head. I just can't imagine living without hearing Bach again. I'd save the cello suite and use it to transport me to another world, high above my little island.

So, there you go, my Desert Island Discs. I'd love to hear yours!!

Silent Sunday